The Language of the Body — how the Words We Use Shape Our Pleasure
I haven't always been a wordsmith, my spelling is know for being atrocious at times and I often have to grasp for the "correct" word to explain my thoughts and feelings but; give me a good book, a cosy chair, and a quiet afternoon and I’m ridiculously happy.
What I love most isn’t even the stories. It’s the way certain words can make you feel all kinds of tingly without even realising.
Language is sneaky like that.
It doesn’t just live in our minds. It lives in our nervous systems.
Lately, I’ve been paying attention to the words I use for my body, my desires, and even ordinary everyday moments. And I’ve noticed how much they shape how alive and sensual I feel.
THE Words We Give Our Bodies Matter
Recently, I came across a study that completely stopped me in my tracks.
Researchers explored what women call their genitals and how those words connect to things like body image, sexual confidence, and pleasure.
Here’s what they found.
Women who mostly used playful or childish terms like “hoo-ha,” “vajayjay,” “lady parts,” or “cookie” were more likely to feel disconnected from their bodies. They were less confident receiving oral sex, curious about cosmetic genital surgery, and more likely to use vaginal “cleaning” products.
Not because those words are inherently “bad,” but because they often sit along side shame, distance, and a “let’s-not-look-directly-at-it” energy.
The Power of Embodied Language
Then something fascinating happened when women started using words that were more explicit and confident words like “pussy” or “cunt.”
These women reported greater sexual pleasure, more frequent orgasms, and more comfort with their own desire.
“The very words we’re often taught are ‘rude’ or ‘too much’ turned out to be the ones most connected to confidence, enjoyment, and pleasure.”
Language isn’t magic. It doesn’t singlehandedly create pleasure. Experience shapes language, language shapes experience and both reflect how at home we feel in our bodies.
Infantilising language often hangs out with shame.
Embodied language often hangs out with pleasure.
Curiosity Over Performance
This isn’t about suddenly forcing yourself to use bold words you secretly hate. It’s about curiosity.
Notice where your language makes you shrink, and where it lets you expand. Where it invites you to feel alive and where it keeps you small.
And this play doesn’t need to be reserved for the bedroom.
Describe your body. Describe your mood. Describe your day. Describe your desires with words that feel lush, delicious, a little more daring.
Notice how your energy shifts. Notice how your presence deepens.
This is not about performing.
Not about being provocative.
It’s about letting your words be a tiny flirtation with yourself.
Playful Prompts to Explore Your Language
Here are a few questions you can sit with to start noticing the power of your words:
What words did you grow up hearing about your body?
How do they feel in your mouth now? Lush? Delicious? Scrumptious?
Which words make you feel more confident, alive, and at home in your body?
There is no “right” vocabulary only the words that bring you closer to yourself.
See what happens when your language expands.
P.S If you want to dive deeper into embodiment, sexual confidence, and discovering your own language for pleasure, my upcoming program ‘The Claimed Code’ explores all of this. Join the waitlist here. And if you prefer private exploration, 1:1 sessions are always available.
